Katherine Grace Williams
Born 9/11/08 @ 6:17pm
8lbs 11oz and 18" long
We finally have Gracie (or "KG") home with us!
She was born Thursday night and taken by MEDUCARE to MUSC downtown because she required an air mixture extra rich with oxygen (80%) in order to supply her tissues with enough oxygen. By comparison, normal sea level air is 21% oxygen. Sarah did get to hold her immediately after birth, but only briefly. She was not crying and was thus taken and given breathing assistance and then moved to the nursery where she received the supplemental oxygen.
At MUSC, she was slowly weaned down to normal levels of oxygen and her breathing became more regular over the next 3 days. She came home Monday. It is believed she was exhibiting TTN. Click the link for more details, but essentially her body was still trying to "breathe" as though her oxygen was coming from Sarah via the placenta, not through her lungs. What a lazy baby!
I can't say enough how important it was to us that so many people rallied around us both physically and spiritually. I'm not being nice or "Oprah-ish" when I say that each and every person who told us they were praying for Gracie beared a bit of our suffering and gave us a feeling of grace and mercy. Never before have we experienced community with our friends and families like we have in the past several days. We got a lesson in what God intends when he blesses people getting together to be involved in each other's lives.
Gracie is doing very well at home. She is learning how to nurse, as Sarah is learning how to feed her (and learning very quickly). Sarah has incredible patience and gentleness with Gracie. She's a good mother. Gracie has incredible bowels and can turn 3 ounces of milk into a pound of foul mustard. I think she may be breaking a few fundamental physical laws as a matter of fact.
And now for something completely different:
At the risk of being an amateur philosopher, having our first child immediately taken and spending several days under intensive care taught us something...
After some time spent wondering "why my little girl?" and "how can God allow this?", a piece from The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe kept running through my head. If you know the story you know that the Lion, Aslan, represents Christ in the way that he offers himself as a replacement to die so that a boy who betrayed his family and Aslan doesn't have to die. The conversation goes as such:
Lucy: Then he isn't safe?
Mr. Beaver: Safe?...Who said anything about "safe?" 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you.
Mr. Beaver: Safe?...Who said anything about "safe?" 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you.
I know it's cliche' to use book or film quotes to make a point, but it's what I was thinking about. And what I realized was this--that it is much easier, much safer to believe in no God, or to believe in an impersonal God who doesn't care than it is to believe that God is dearly concerned with each of us and really wants to have a deep, loving relationship with me. (And I mean the singular person, regardless of creed, lifestyle, sexual preference, past crimes, future crimes, awkward dancing, bad diet, etc.) When things go horribly wrong or tragedy threatens or strikes, an impersonal God can't be to blame. An impersonal God is just letting life happen, laissez-faire. It's even easier to think there is no god, only happenstance and our reaction to it.
I don't claim to understand why bad things happen if God is good. I don't know the will of God and my point of view is finite. But at the intersection of experience and scripture I learned that God does care, deeply. When people, many of you, looked to God to preserve the life of just one baby, He answered with mercy. I don't know how God always works, He may have saved her through gifts of technology, intellect, discovery, compassion, or even a miracle, but regardless, He saw fit to preserve her life because He wants the best for us.
The world has plenty of people, and God doesn't need one not-so-tiny kid to stay alive so that He is still God. But He did keep her. And He really does care.
And now for ubiquitous photos...
