We should have had a puppy, instead!

Sarah hasn't been able to bend in the middle very well. And she's experiencing some muscle fatigue. To make her feel better, we joked about how we should have decided to get another dog instead of having a kid. At least I think she was joking.

Reasons that puppies are better than babies:

Puppies are house broken in, like, 2 weeks. Babies will gleefully soil themselves for years.

No woman has ever been laid up nauseous or with a back ache because she getting a puppy...unless it is some type of evil magic puppy, in which case we should probably not discuss it--the puppy might hear us!

Puppies will not poo where they sleep. Babies are not quite as discriminating. Babies need to learn some freaking foresight!

When a woman tells someone she is getting a puppy, no one slaps the smokes out of the woman's mouth.

You can use whatever foul language you wish around puppies, they won't embarrass you at your parents' house or Target later on.

If I show up at the kennel in cut-offs and a Hell's Bells t-shirt, no one refuses to give me my puppy until my wife shows up.

If your puppy runs, trips, falls and you laugh...people laugh with you. If it happens to your baby and you laugh, people gasp and someone calls DSS.

If my puppy whines, I can put him outside while I take a nap...well, I guess, in this case, it really isn't different at all, is it?

You can name a puppy anything you like. A baby will grow to hate you if you name it "Artemis the sprite" or "Mr. Booby."

You get to pick the cutest puppy. The ugly baby is yours whether you want it or not.

Jamie suggested this one: "People don't ask behind your back if the puppy is really yours or not."